Hunger

I'm sick

I can't eat anything strong

So I won't I don't 

I don't eat 

I'm not allowed to eat what I can

So I won't so I don't 

Instead I dream 

I boil the water and steep the leaves

I hold the cup tight it burns my hands but I don't feel

Or I don't care I can't tell the difference anymore 

When the warmth fades I tip the cup

But no satisfaction comes

Only look not a drop 

I watch as the thing that once gave me calm council hope happiness flows down the drain trapped in an unending spiral downwards now washing what it once gave me away with it what's left is the bitter smell of things lost my family calls me to eat but I tell them I'm not hungry they can tell I'm lying but they know I won't answer she scolds me for the weight I lose but I don't care I finished trying, I take  my blows stand and wait for another, freedom is a lie we enslave ourselves to one another 

We are 

Chained 

To  

The  

very 

last 

drop .

Mirror

I lost count at fifty four 

I deserve one thousand more

You disgust me look at what you did

And for what sleep you knew would never come?

You are pathetic someone tear your eyes out and fill the holes with broken glass

You don't deserve her and she deserves someone better

You little weakling I hate you so much

I know.

Stories

I'm done now I'm finished with life but I'm not going to die

I have so many places I will never go so much life I'm not going to live 

Then it's life was chosen to go on mine ended now I wait for it 

my waterfall

Be careful when you ask for a story for soon I'm going to run out 

I don't make stories any more I don't go out and live as I used to now days mostly I cling to the handrail living safely inside my line 

Yes my dear I will tell you a story but beware it may be the last I will tell

Glass cactus

I am so tired of hurting the ones I love so tired of losing them I took off my mask and buried my rage I even caught a glimpse of who I wanted to be I was done lying until I remembered that there was still a world out there but it was to late I had let the world in I opened up and trusted them I hadn't made the sweet mistake of trusting some one in a long time. My world is shattered and my vault is sealed again I thought I had heard something still  inside 131will take care of it but as shattered as I am I will rebuild I am a carpenter and every shard gives me a sharper edge

Liar

My mother told me she loves me...

I can't say the same without lying to her

It's wrong how we are 

I like my new family better

Swirling ink of my mind

I want to help them but I'm to much of a coward to say any thing I watch as they burn while I douse my own flames with ink to afraid to let them die but not strong enough to watch. just blot out my eyes and try not to feel the black is soothing but no happiness will come it only pushes the pain away for awhile I want some thing to hold but I'm to afraid ill break it no just let go move on  can't hold any longer even if i want to
 just me and my ink

source code of identy

 highlight delete object
if only it was that easy but now to delete any thing we have to re-weave the whole entire entity
cut the conecting threads extract replace though it my be in the properplace the rest of the code may reject it
now reprogram each thread from the beginning
its the anotmy of the internet silmilr to our own
one foul line of code pr one bad gene the program fails or the organism dies
>INPUT TYPE="Hidden" NAME="organs" VALUE="now that we cut into the anatomy lets take a deeper look"<
the output that we see is really just the skin of the code but thats all we want to see
we have no desire to see through our own skin to be constantly aware of how we work well it wold be maddening
what could lie with in the source code is infinateand in turn what lie within us?
we may never know until we veiw the source code

If you are reading this...

There is something i want to say but I'm to scared after what they said any way even  if isaid it no good would come of it anyway I'm to old for it any ways

It hard to open up when you've broke so many times. No more killing. No, more killing I can't just givup my identity that easily though
I laughed to day I read that love is like a drug
It's highly addictive your happy as long as you have it but when you don't you'll have an emotional hangover and you'll do anything to get more of it
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